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Guide to Dating Apps! Why more and more people prefer them and the red flags you should watch out for.

After the pandemic, dating apps have been on the rise, one might say. While previously many could view them somewhat disdainfully, thinking they were just a means to secure sex and nothing more, or who would deign to go on a date from a dating app looking for a partner?

After the coronavirus, many people locked themselves in their homes, and even today they still fear and struggle with illnesses and viruses. Many want to protect themselves by wearing masks with the flu outbreak and tend towards the realm of illness-phobia and extreme attention to health. Thus, dating apps end up being the only way. Considering that as you age, your social circles naturally shrink because people’s life phases change.

First of all, the way to use a dating app is to know exactly what you’re looking for. To know if you want just sex, a relationship, or a situationship, as we call it today. So it’s good to have corresponding expectations from yourself. Especially now, when dating apps allow you to create a comprehensive profile with everything we like, thus showing what exactly we’re looking for, but also to see what the other person is looking for.

So if you come across a profile that doesn’t provide enough information, then it might be useful to ask, “What are you looking for?” Asking this question doesn’t need to be considered bad; it’s just a clarification that might save both people time. The point here is not to distort facts, assuming that the other person wants the same things as us without them having said it. You can’t assume if you want a relationship, that the other person also wants one unless you ask clearly what the other person wants! It’s also very important to accept that each dating app can be considered a marketplace, which is also true in real life. You go to a bar, look around at people, present yourself well like you would in a good photo, and scan around to find those who match your appearance.

The same goes for dating apps. You see 5-6 representative photos, you won’t hear how the other person talks or even see how they sit. You might not have all the information you want from the start, but you have the comfort to have a safe conversation, a safe chat to see if it flows from the comfort and safety of your home. So you can do better filtering. However, here you need to be careful because many people will present facts to match what you’re looking for! So you need to be suspicious.

But this isn’t a reason for someone to be discouraged! Because the same thing happens in real life. You can meet someone at a bar and then have the same person tell you that they want to be together, and then you never see them again! So we shouldn’t assume that just because someone is on a dating app, they want to fool us. We should be clear, have clear criteria, and something very important is to carefully look at the other person’s photos. The photos they’ve chosen show what they want to display.

For example, a person who showcases their body at the gym or that they go to expensive restaurants means that they probably take care of their body and like to have a good time, but maybe in the back of our minds, we should have that this person likes to show off and that they are “someone”. So we shouldn’t be put off if they present a profile that we don’t like. We need to pay a lot of attention to the photos the other person chooses to put.

It’s extremely important to have the courage to “expose” ourselves, to say who we are and what we want and to demand exactly the same from others. When you put your photo and say “I want a relationship” or “I want kids” or “I just want sex” or “I don’t want kids” and you have the courage because it really is courage to expose yourself, it’s also a prerequisite for the other person to do the same. On the other hand, if you see a profile with no photos and no information, the advice is to skip it. You can’t understand things about the other person. It’s the first red flag! Because you’re starting a relationship in which you expose yourself, give information about yourself, and the other person gives nothing. How will this go in the future? Certainly not better!

Another red flag to watch out for is people who are very impressive and showy. Those who write very elaborate things in their profile, this could mean that they’ve researched a lot and want to be impressive. They might just be trying to impress and get confirmation for their self-confidence, and they may not be interested in getting to know you.

It’s not bad not to match with someone, it’s not bad to be rejected. It’s a good opportunity to practice accepting that we don’t appeal to everyone and thus appreciate the people who like us!

You should observe how you feel when you talk to someone and you should listen to your intuition, meaning if something flows naturally and smoothly! We should always look at ourselves and see what we want!

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