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Infidelity! Or is it?

Infidelity, a topic that remains inexhaustible no matter what one may say. For some, infidelity is being in a relationship and looking at someone else, or conversing with someone other than your partner. For others, things are more ‘relaxed’. ‘Let them look as much as they want, it doesn’t bother me at all. Just as long as they don’t have sex!’

In an era of abundance and excess supply but also ‘temptations’, what can be considered as real infidelity? Is it watching porn movies? Being active on a dating app? Having conversations with someone else in secret?

So, I would like to emphasize three points of such a situation that raise some additional questions, in secret, with duration, and with emotion. The presence of someone on dating apps does not necessarily mean that their intention is infidelity; it may simply mean they want to see if they still ‘matter’. But what happens when this is done in secret? When you’re talking secretly to someone other than your partner, what do you find objectionable in what you’re doing and feel the need to hide it? One viewpoint says that if nothing is happening, there’s no reason to hide it.

As time passes and the conversation that started as a joke or simply to pass the time (especially during quarantine) continues, what then? A conversation that makes your heart race waiting for the message; how long have you been talking? A month? Eight months? ‘Well, what’s wrong with it? We’re just talking. It’s not like we’re doing anything sexual!’ But what happens inside you when you perpetuate such a situation, without a clear intention to end it?

‘He still hasn’t texted! What’s he doing? He finished practice 2.5 hours ago, and I know he doesn’t have training until the next 4 hours!’ Your nerves and anxiety are on red alert. Your heartbeat is intense, and fear deep inside you that all of this has stopped start to surface. You receive messages, but none are from the one you’re waiting for. Until, there it is! Finally, he texted! And the other heartbeat starts, the sweet joy, and the endless energy that suddenly you acquired and don’t know where to channel it. But of course, none of this means anything because you don’t have physical contact. However, how can you simply overlook all these emotions that you frequently experience?

So, what is infidelity to you? Physical, emotional, or both?”

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