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People Emotionally (Un)available.

When something new starts, any relationship with another person, no one knows where it will all end up. In theory, it starts with the best intentions; someone has hopes, someone has expectations, someone is just “playing games,” someone is taking a “wait and see” approach. But what happens when things progress? When expectations increase and the “undefined” seeks definition? When it’s time either to end things or declare emotional availability for both parties?

In the optimistic scenario, both people are having a good time and decide to continue and see where it goes, since we can’t predict anything beforehand. In the other scenario, however, one of the two will pull back. They might not be ready for a relationship, or rather, they might not be emotionally available.

He broke up with his ex three months ago and still can’t get over her; maybe he still sees her sometimes, as he revealed to you the last time. While her current relationship is on the rocks, and she’s looking for the right moment to break up with her partner, she hasn’t told him yet, even though it’s been six months. Yet, she seeks daily communication with you and talks about all the things you’ll do together very soon.

However, the situation doesn’t progress; the knot has reached its limit, and you’re just waiting and waiting and waiting for the other person to be emotionally available for you. And as time goes by, after the sadness and grief, anger sets in! Why did you approach me and pursue me if you were never emotionally available?

“I liked you for a long time, I thought I’d try my luck, I never expected anything to happen between us.” So, I approached you with the mentality of someone already defeated, and now I don’t know how to handle all this! People who are emotionally unavailable find themselves at their own personal crossroads, which they prolong and will continue to prolong until someone else makes a decision and takes action for them. They are extremely confused individuals with low self-esteem who fear taking any initiative that will bring changes in their lives. If you notice, this doesn’t just happen in their romantic lives. It happens in their professional lives and in anything that promotes their personal development. The known and unpleasant is preferable to the unknown, even if the unknown is better.

Reassess and realize that you can’t compete with “ghosts,” neither the ex, nor the current partner, nor the “I’m still not ready” excuse. You can’t compete because there’s no competition. Everyone has made their choices, even by avoiding them.

Simply ask yourself, is it worth investing your time and emotions in someone who is emotionally unavailable?

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