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“The Hollywoodian Passion

When I heard this expression, I must admit that it shook my entire existence. Almost all the expectations and demands we have from love and the resulting relationship are summarized in this phrase.

In most romantic movies, the two protagonists manage to overcome all obstacles and end up living endless love together. Evil mothers-in-law, existing relationships with other people which are, of course, meaningless, unexciting, and already in a deadlock, the honest commoner, the spoiled rich who doesn’t know how to love, and a bunch of other scenarios that want love to triumph in the end and the couple to end up together happily.

The difficulty starts with the first glance, they look at each other and realize that they are made for each other. Or they find each other so repulsive with such intensity, yet their love for each other is evident. This is how we arrive at the first myth! How many people around us say, “As soon as I see them, I’ll know that they’re THE ONE!” It seems as likely to happen in real life as seeing someone walking around with a tablet on their forehead saying “I’m the One!”

The kiss! One of the best myths! Music, angels singing, passersby applauding, and birds singing melodically as they sprinkle biodegradable confetti over the couple. Does this happen in REAL life? Because in the real world, kisses are likely to happen in a bar, a restaurant, in the car, on the street, in a park, on the stairs outside the subway, or in the best (most romantic version) under the rain with one of the two hoping that tomorrow they won’t catch a cold and spend their day drinking tea.

The marriage proposal! They said yes and magically, both their problems have now been solved. They will live in a 240 square meter house (unknown who will clean it and when) or in a loft on the 35th floor overlooking the Hudson River or the Eiffel Tower.

Beautiful and romantic, and very enjoyable to watch all these while enjoying your warm popcorn, but don’t expect them in real life. It’s unfair and a shame that movies don’t show the “next day.”

In real life, you’ll see the other person in their pajamas, uncombed. The girl with the no-makeup makeup and her hair smooth as silk doesn’t exist, unless she got up two hours before to get ready. With cohabitation, no table is set by itself with waffles, pancakes, and freshly squeezed juices. And worst of all! People go to the bathroom! Goodbye idealization, natural need has just knocked on the door.

So, leave behind the coveted and non-existent Hollywoodian passion and create your own personal passion! Make her favorite coffee where she least expects it. If you like cooking, make an effort for pancakes before she wakes up, if not, thank goodness for restaurants. Or just wake her up and say, “I’m treating you to breakfast. Let’s go!”

There’s no magical recipe, nor user manual to keep the passion alive in your relationship. It’s solely in the hands, will, and effort of both people in the relationship. And what is this passion after all? To show the other person that you care about them and that they are among your priorities!”

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